Last month I was guided to share a little about what life was like for me growing up. To be honest..that was only a small glimpse as I just wanted to give a general outline of things. The letters, messages and emails that came in after posting that blog were AMAZING! I thank each of you who wrote for taking the time to do so. It's so hard to share personal details of my life but when I get letters saying things like, "Sarah, thank you SO much for posting that blog. As I read it I felt like you were telling MY story! It means the world to know I am not alone", makes any discomfort I feel TOTALLY worth it! So THANK YOU!!!!
It's A Process........
Growing up is never easy. We each have our own process that we go through. My process just happen to include being highly sensitive and intuitive. But I also had my own character flaws in all that as well that didn't help things. I was/am stubborn, hard headed at times, open yet full of opinions, and lack a filter on my mouth (I OFTEN speak before I think)! And boy, oh boy, does my mouth get me in trouble sometimes! I don't mean to come across as rude or lacking tact but I can only go so long with attempting not to comment on something before it literally comes flying out of my mouth. Same goes for my "colorful" language. Yes, I'm known to drop the "F-bomb" along with other four and five letter words. Although I have to admit I have gotten creative with such language as I don't talk like that around my kids. But when around adults...well, let's just say I should probably come with a warning label of sorts!
When I spoke of being a "loner" of sorts in my teens and twenties it was more that people had a hard time staying around me because they were sick and tired of worrying about me. People had a hard time understanding why I seemed to always be careless with my life...drinking in excess just to name one. They didn't understand that I wanted to "tune out" so badly but didn't know how to do it in a healthy way. Or how when I felt like ending my life I was so consumed by emotion that I COULDN'T think straight. To people on the outside I seemed to fit into one of two categories-either the party girl or the Debbie downer. Hmmmm...pretty polar opposite don't you think? But it was true. I couldn't regulate myself in any fashion and often the harder I tried the more I miserably failed. To this day I still struggle to keep myself regulated--it's more being mindful of WHY I feel the way I feel WHEN I feel it -unlike when I was growing up I had no f-ing clue!
But what if I don't know the WHY you may ask...well I tend to get stressed, irritable (okay..more like bitchy), I self-doubt, I tend to get sick more often and my patience goes out the window and I'm not fun to be around. When I start noticing these things (and many times it's my poor husband needing to be brave enough to point them out) is when I have to sit and think about the WHY. Sometimes it's simply because I'm not doing what I am supposed to be doing--passing messages. You see..I do go up to strangers and pass messages on occasion...but many times I don't because it's really harder than it looks. Most everyone has seen shows like "The Long Island Medium" etc. Shows like that make it look easy. It's not. Think about it. Could you go up to a complete stranger and say--"oh by the way..I have a message from you loved one who passed etc etc"? Since I have a deep rooted fear of rejection it makes this task EXTREMELY difficult. Not to mention if I get one single piece of information that doesn't make sense to the person it can set off a whole bunch of different reactions. One small piece wrong can cause someone to believe I'm a hoax and therefore causing judgement. I can even get judged just for BEING who I am because WHAT I do isn't fully accepted by EVERYONE! So there comes panic, anxiety, self-doubt, worry, people pleasing, and fear of rejection. Yes, I have gotten better over the years. But honestly, I face these things EACH and EVERY TIME I do a session. Most all of my clients will tell you that I end the session often saying.."I hope this helped a bit" or "Is there anything else I can help with? As I don't want you to feel like you wasted your time." It's that people pleasing aspect from my childhood that causes this...not low self esteem or low confidence. They sure do seem similar though don't they? So...if I hold back from passing messages to random strangers or if I don't keep my schedule open enough to do sessions..I tend to have lingering energy that builds up which causes my whole system to get off balance. That's when I start having to look at the WHY.
But what if I don't know the WHY you may ask...well I tend to get stressed, irritable (okay..more like bitchy), I self-doubt, I tend to get sick more often and my patience goes out the window and I'm not fun to be around. When I start noticing these things (and many times it's my poor husband needing to be brave enough to point them out) is when I have to sit and think about the WHY. Sometimes it's simply because I'm not doing what I am supposed to be doing--passing messages. You see..I do go up to strangers and pass messages on occasion...but many times I don't because it's really harder than it looks. Most everyone has seen shows like "The Long Island Medium" etc. Shows like that make it look easy. It's not. Think about it. Could you go up to a complete stranger and say--"oh by the way..I have a message from you loved one who passed etc etc"? Since I have a deep rooted fear of rejection it makes this task EXTREMELY difficult. Not to mention if I get one single piece of information that doesn't make sense to the person it can set off a whole bunch of different reactions. One small piece wrong can cause someone to believe I'm a hoax and therefore causing judgement. I can even get judged just for BEING who I am because WHAT I do isn't fully accepted by EVERYONE! So there comes panic, anxiety, self-doubt, worry, people pleasing, and fear of rejection. Yes, I have gotten better over the years. But honestly, I face these things EACH and EVERY TIME I do a session. Most all of my clients will tell you that I end the session often saying.."I hope this helped a bit" or "Is there anything else I can help with? As I don't want you to feel like you wasted your time." It's that people pleasing aspect from my childhood that causes this...not low self esteem or low confidence. They sure do seem similar though don't they? So...if I hold back from passing messages to random strangers or if I don't keep my schedule open enough to do sessions..I tend to have lingering energy that builds up which causes my whole system to get off balance. That's when I start having to look at the WHY.
Balancing Act
Here's another twist for you...
OUTSIDE ENERGIES CAN CAUSE YOU TO BE OFF BALANCE!
What outside energies? The Earth energy, the Moon energy or the energy of others.
Wait..what? Earth and Moon energies?!?! Um..yeah. When I talk about "Balance" I don't just mean things in your life like work, family etc. I'm talking on an ENERGETIC level. Since EVERYTHING is made up of energy..including YOU..you can become unbalanced by other energies. The best way to describe it is like this--We ARE energetic beings. Thnk of it like this--When lightening strikes it blows out electrical circuits because it basically over loads it with energy, Right? Well, the same holds true with we humans and the different changes and shifts in energy from the Earth and the Moon. When the Earth is unsettled (ie: earthquakes happening frequently caused by more SHIFTING in the EARTH) we have a hard time getting and staying GROUNDED. If we can't get or stay grounded it's more likely that we can become overloaded more easily. If our bodies are getting an overload on ANYTHING they tend to react in a physical manner--ie: headaches, tiredness, muscle aches, hunger, agitation, restlessness, sinus issues just to name a few. And just like anything that uses electricity--our bodies NEED to be grounded!
Here are some quick and easy way to ground yourself:
Sometimes it's just a matter of doing one of the above suggestions and sometimes you need to do a combination of ALL things. Just remember--if you are feeling a bit "OFF" try to see what outside things could be playing a part in your "symptoms". Sit and think about the "WHY". It might be as simple as a chance in the moon cycle and you just happen to be more sensitive to it than others around you or perhaps you are "putting" something off due to fear, anxiety etc. Regardless...the first step in the process of being balanced is to recognize being unbalanced.
OUTSIDE ENERGIES CAN CAUSE YOU TO BE OFF BALANCE!
What outside energies? The Earth energy, the Moon energy or the energy of others.
Wait..what? Earth and Moon energies?!?! Um..yeah. When I talk about "Balance" I don't just mean things in your life like work, family etc. I'm talking on an ENERGETIC level. Since EVERYTHING is made up of energy..including YOU..you can become unbalanced by other energies. The best way to describe it is like this--We ARE energetic beings. Thnk of it like this--When lightening strikes it blows out electrical circuits because it basically over loads it with energy, Right? Well, the same holds true with we humans and the different changes and shifts in energy from the Earth and the Moon. When the Earth is unsettled (ie: earthquakes happening frequently caused by more SHIFTING in the EARTH) we have a hard time getting and staying GROUNDED. If we can't get or stay grounded it's more likely that we can become overloaded more easily. If our bodies are getting an overload on ANYTHING they tend to react in a physical manner--ie: headaches, tiredness, muscle aches, hunger, agitation, restlessness, sinus issues just to name a few. And just like anything that uses electricity--our bodies NEED to be grounded!
Here are some quick and easy way to ground yourself:
- Epsom Salt Baths
- Certain Crystals and Stones such as Tourmaline or Hematite have natural grounding properties and can be used by placing around your home, carrying in your pocket or worn in jewelry
- Get in touch with nature-ie: Go Barefoot and let your skin touch the Earth
- Yoga or Reiki to help align your Chakras to help keep you balanced can help keep you grounded
- Using Essential Oils or Tibetan Singing Bowls can help as aides as well
Sometimes it's just a matter of doing one of the above suggestions and sometimes you need to do a combination of ALL things. Just remember--if you are feeling a bit "OFF" try to see what outside things could be playing a part in your "symptoms". Sit and think about the "WHY". It might be as simple as a chance in the moon cycle and you just happen to be more sensitive to it than others around you or perhaps you are "putting" something off due to fear, anxiety etc. Regardless...the first step in the process of being balanced is to recognize being unbalanced.
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