Have you ever done that? I believe everyone has at one point or another. It's a reaction. We react to a life situation. We tend to act more as human being having a Spiritual experience than we do a Spiritual being having a HUMAN experience. I know, I know..that whole concept right there is A LOT to absorb, but think about it. Our bodies are shells, our protective armor in this life. Our Souls are Spiritual and were placed within these shells.
But that's not the point here and I'm getting off subject a bit. Back to the WHY's etc. What IF when we are faced with a difficult situation we sit down and think about it outside of our normal realm of thinking. Meaning--we think of what the lesson could be in the situation. Or what growth can we gain from the situation whether it be emotional or spiritual. Have you ever considered that our situation may have NOTHING to do with us personally but that it happen to us for a greater good? Yes, yes..I know..that's completely f'ed up! But think about it...just for a moment. Can't you feel even the smallest of truth in that statement?
Now you might be asking why in the world am I talking about all this. Well, I think it's important to try to see the bigger picture in life. I have to remind myself of this sometimes. I have to remember everything happens for a reason and that sometimes the most painful things happen because it's a part of a bigger picture. That sure as hell doesn't make some situations easier to handle..but trying to keep my mind open will eventual help me open my eyes so I can see the light better.
My last few blogs have been VERY personal and I've been sharing things with you that normally people don't talk about with the general public..as it's usual viewed as a private matter. You know, how people used to say.."keep it within the walls of your home as you are not meant to AIR your dirty laundry"..well sorry..but my laundry is being aired all over the world with this blog. So with that said...I want to share something extremely personal.
With all this powerful energy of the moon ON TOP of all the other wild energy that we are getting from the Astrology side of things ON TOP of the massive Earth energy shifts I have found myself coming into another awakening of sorts! The energy has been intense to say the least and I have been feeling unbalanced a bit as have many others. This energy is not very comfortable (at least for me) and what it is bringing forward in repressed memories is even more uncomfortable. All my life I have struggled with trying to remember early childhood memories. There were several points in my early years that I just could NOT remember for the life of me. Repressed memories. There is always a reason why we repress memories. Sometimes it's because events were just too traumatic that our entire system couldn't handle the shock value of it all and thus trying to "spare" us from having to live with the memory. Sometimes it's because we needed to have the memories "locked away" so to speak until we could handle what really took place. And yet other times it's simply because the higher purpose/reason are not in place and we "file" away these memories until the time is right and we can process them in a way that is healthy and are able to "make sense" of things (if making sense of some things is even possible).
So with all the shifts, energy, changes etc happening my repressed memories started coming back to me like a freaking flood gate was opened today! Thank goodness I have an awesome intuitive friend whom I could ask to "tap" in to see if what I was "seeing" was my mind or actual memories because to be honest..I was really hoping it was just all in my mind! I was having a hard time digesting that what I am about to share actually happened. I started having "flashbacks" of my childhood. Of how I struggled with embarrassing peeing accidents until I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade because I would hold it so long I would literally just burst. How I always had an issue being naked around people at a VERY young age. Etc etc etc. Then I started seeing flashes of a previous male relative who was in my life at a very young age (through marriage) and have come to realize that all these things, these "symptoms"/actions of mine were because he sexually abused me from age 2 or 3 until I was 5. And interestingly enough, on some level I have ALWAYS known-and when I shared with my husband he said the VERY SAME THING he always just KNEW! WOW!
Now let's couple that with being a HIGHLY sensitive/intuitive child and BAM you have one hot mess on your hands! Sooooooooo many different things in my life make soooooooo much more sense now. Why I acted certain ways in certain situations. Why I have struggled in so many areas such as with relationships with men and with my body. Why I am so highly sensitive and disturbed when I hear of a child being robbed of their innocence etc. My list can literally go on and on.
Let my eyes become open so that I may see the Light!
Now you might be asking yourself WHY am I sharing this with all of you. Well to be very honest, it's so you can truly see that I'm just a normal person who goes through things JUST LIKE YOU. That when I say I can personally relate in some way to every single person I meet..that I mean it from the depths of my soul and every fiber of my being. I truly believe I have had to go through a lot of this dark stuff so that I could truly see the light! After all...it is darkest before the dawn.
Until Next Time........
Much Love, Light N Gratitude